Healing From Childhood Trauma After Bullying at School
"Bullying at school left scars on me and on millions of other people around the world. Not everyone survived childhood bullying. I was one of the lucky ones. In time, I learned to face the childhood trauma and move past it, and so can you. The free fall that began when you were tormented by bullies can end." So says Stacey J. Miller, author of Getting Past Childhood Bullying: How Adults Can Recover From Bullying That Began at School (BPT Press, October 2018).
The memories of bullies at school are no longer yours to handle alone, according to Stacey. In her book, she shares the four-part program she successful used to heal from the bullying in her childhood. They are:
Part 1. Tell your story. Take ownership of it, and tell it first to yourself. Then decide whether or not you want to share the story with others. If you can articulate what happened, you can begin to reframe the events and learn from them.
Part 2. Maximize you online presence. The internet has made the world a much smaller place. Chances are, anyone from your past can find you again within just a few minutes without even exerting much effort. That can be a terrifying prospect unless you take charge of what people will see when they find you online and prepare yourself for the eventuality of their getting in touch.
Part 3. Find your foes online. You do not have to wait for people to find you online. Instead, you can find them first. That allows you to put the people associated with the bullying of your childhood into perspective. You will see that they are not omniscient. They can't hurt you anymore because, after all, they are just ordinary mortals.
Part 4. Face your foes in the real world. The childhood bullying you experienced might have ended without providing you with an opportunity for closure. You may feel that you still have unfinished business with the people who hurt you. While you cannot change the past, you can shoot an alternate ending by meeting the people from your past once more — on your terms — when you are ready. Finally, you can end the story on your terms.
"The first step in healing," Stacey shares, "is to recognize that bullying is no longer a dirty little secret. It never should have been. Fortunately, society now has recognized bullying as unacceptable and deeply detrimental. We have stopped normalizing it. Now that bullying has finally come out of the closet and into the light, you can, too. You weren't to blame for what happened. You endured, and you're probably a more compassionate person because of it. Give yourself credit for being the hero that you are."
Getting Past Childhood Bullying:
How Adults Can Recover From Bullying That Began at School
By Stacey J. Miller